Currently we’re in a message series called “God’s Power For Your Relationships.” In the last weeks I’ve talked about the importance of love and patience. This week, I want to tackle a somewhat more difficult topic. What do we do when a relationship has problems? When a relationship becomes damaged? When someone we care about hurts us? Some people hold a grudge and become bitter. Others try to pretend that nothing has happened. Neither response is God’s way to deal with problems in a relationship. The way to bring healing to a relationship that has been damaged is through forgiveness.
Today my topic is “Forgiving When It’s Hard.” Some forgiveness is easy, when the hurt is small, when the other person seems truly sorry. However, forgiving is hard in other situations. Forgiving is hard when the hurt is big. Forgiving is hard when you are hurt repeatedly. Forgiving is hard when the other person does not seem to be sorry. Sometimes we may feel that we just can’t forgive what someone has done to us.
Take a quick inventory of your life this morning. Is there anyone in your life who you hold a grudge against? Is there someone who has hurt you and you feel bitterness, resentment or anger toward them? If there is, keep that person in your mind as listen this morning. God wants to release your mind and emotions from the pain of what someone else has done. And in many cases the relationship can be restored. What is the key? The key is forgiveness.
NLT Colossians 3:13 You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. There is a word in that verse that occurs two times that I would like you to circle, the word is must. It is repeated twice for emphasis, you must forgive. Those are commands from God for every believer. Forgive, even when it’s hard. Why must we forgive when it’s difficult? Because the Lord forgave us. Each one of us has been forgiven by Jesus for our wrongs. When we truly understand how much we have been forgiven for, we can forgive others, even when it’s hard.
To hear more about this topic, listen to my April 29, 2007 message entitled Forgiving When It’s Hard
Hello Pastor Dan,
I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed this sermon and how you teach. One thing that I didn’t like about sermons when I was younger was that I always felt like the pastor was forcing things down my throat..per se. I did not feel this way when you taught. I felt very comfortable listening to you talk and just as if you were a teacher (as a pastor should be). I am going to have my husband listen to your sermon, he really needs to learn to forgive some people over this past year.
I actually wrote about my first experience at the church in my blog. I felt very comfortable there and I will be attending more often and hopefully my husband can join along.
I hope to see you in two weeks.
God Bless,
Stephanie D.
Stephanie,
Glad you liked the church. I also enjoyed the post on your blog about visiting the church. We look forward to seeing you again.
Pastor Dan
I thank God for getting on this page and reading your message. I am currently hurting, I was in an 8 yr relationship but was now broken because we both don’t know how to forgive. It was hard to overcome my depression over my broken relationship but I trust God has better plans for us. I asked for God’s forgiveness and I forgive my ex-partner and his family for the things they have done me wrong. I pray that through God’s mercy and grace, my ex-partner and his family would also forgive me. I am fervently praying for God to restore my relationship if it is His will.
MY MINISTRY IS FORGIVING AND FORGETTING ABOUT IT .. NOT EVERYBODY HAS THAT CAPABILITY IM BLESSED ITS SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO PRAY FOR…. OH I GET MAD AS DID GOD BUT IM JUST AS FAST TO FORGIVE BECAUSE FOR 16 YRS I LIVED WITH UNFORGIVNESS IN MY HEART AND I WAS THE LOSER
Yes … it’s wonderful to forgive, but the Bible clearly states, that in order to receive forgiveness we must ask both God and others. “Confess your sins one to another so that you may be healed. In addition, every parable were Jesus teaches about forgiveness there is included a person asking for forgiveness. We aren’t required to forgive if a person hasn’t asked.
Of course, having said that, we need to forgive so that we can move on and not be destroyed by bitterness… and sometimes that takes a tremendous amount of prayer and grace from God.
We are required to forgive, whether someone asks or not. The forgiveness that is required is in our hearts, as you say. If the person asks for forgiveness, we can outwardly give it to them. If they do not, our forgiveness is internal and allows God to forgive our sins. Jesus clearly said in Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Thank you Pastor Walker for writing and sharing Forgiving When it’s Hard. Your easy to understand biblicaly based teaching has made a positive impact in my life. I thank God for using you to help heal realtionships through forgivness. May the Lord richly bless you!