Currently we’re in a message series called “Growing Great Relationships.” Last week, we talked about “Loving from the Heart.” This week, I want to tackle a somewhat more difficult topic. What do we do when a relationship has problems? When a relationship becomes damaged? When someone we care about hurts us? Some people hold a grudge and become bitter. Others try to pretend that nothing has happened. Neither response is God’s way to deal with problems in a relationship.
Today my topic is “Relationship Damage Control.” What is relationship damage control? In one word, it is forgiveness. The way to bring healing to a relationship that has been damaged is through forgiveness. Some forgiveness is easy, when the hurt is small, when the other person seems truly sorry. However, forgiving is hard in other situations. Forgiving is hard when the hurt is big. Forgiving is hard when you are hurt repeatedly. Forgiving is hard when the other person does not seem to be sorry. Sometimes we may feel that we just can’t forgive what someone has done to us.
Take a quick inventory of your life. Is there anyone in your life who you hold a grudge against? Is there someone who has hurt you and you feel bitterness, resentment or anger toward them? Maybe you love the person, but there are some things you’re having trouble forgiving. If there is a person that comes to mind, keep that person in your mind. God wants to release your mind and emotions from the pain of what someone else has done. And in many cases the relationship can be restored. What is the key? The key is forgiveness.
NLT Colossians 3:13 You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
There is a word in that verse that occurs two times that I would like you to take notice of, the word is must. It is repeated twice for emphasis, you must forgive. Those are commands from God for every believer. Forgive, even when it’s hard. Why must we forgive when it’s difficult, because the Lord forgave us. Each one of us has been forgiven by Jesus for our wrongs. When we truly understand how much we have been forgiven for, we can forgive others, even when it’s hard.
Listen to my February 21, 2010 message “Relationship Damage Control” (message-notes).
Hi Nick
I have been in a similar situation only we had shared 4 years together. I remember all the mixed emotions very well. We’ve been apart for 2 years now and I find myself thinking if we were to reconcile am I prepared to put up with all the affairs he will continue having while still in a relationship with me?
Now that we are apart I am spending more time getting to learn more about myself and doing things by myself. It is not all too bad, yes there are days when I wish I had him around, to help with raising our son and just to have someone to go home to.
I am praying about it and waiting on God to know if the relationship is worth rebuilding or should I just move on.
Being apart from him has given me all the time I needed to grieve and to reflect on what we had.
I hope you will pull through this storm. Continue reading more books and blogs on such topics.
All the best.